Watch this.

This video reminds me of a discussion we had in
class earlier this year. One of my favorite
comedians, Brian Regan.

The Real Deal

I sat down in the middle of the garden, where snakes could scarcely approach unseen, and leaned my back against a warm yellow pumpkin. There were some ground-cherry bushes growing along the furrows, full of fruit. I turned back the papery trianglular sheaths that protected the berries and ate a few. All about me giant grasshoppers, twice as big as any I had ever seen, were doing acrobatic feats among the dried vines. The gophers scurried up and down the ploughed ground. There in the sheltered draw-bottom the wind did not blow very hard, but I could hear in singing its humming tune up on the level, and I could see the tall grasses wave. The earth was warm under me, and warm as I crumbled it through my fingers. Queer little red bugs came out and moved in slow squandrons around me. Their backs were polished vermilion, with black spots. I kept as still as I could. Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become apart of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep. 

Today I started My Antonia and just a few pages in is this passage. It captured my attention immediately and I decided to read it over a second time. It is interesting because of the narrator's perception and outlook on life at that immediate moment and location. Living in the moment is where it's at. Very few Americans today, especially the older generations (and by older I mean not mine), relate to Jim Burden's childhood consciousness. What's even more fascinating about Jim Burden in this scene is his exceptional awakening, or enlightenment, for his age (10). The sensory language is also quite stunning, yet simple. Normally, a ten year old child could not describe a scene with such intricacy, but because the story is being told by an older Jim Burden, he is able to revisit his childhood and pull apart distinct memories and combine them with elegant details. Not only does Jim understand life's true state of tranquility and freedom, but he envies those past memories of being worry-free... Something that only a child can really achieve on a regular basis (that is not to say that children don't stress out). Jim meets his first lady bug, and accepts it for what it is without fear. Anyway, I thought this passage was pretty cool; not many 10 year old kids meditate and accept life in such a spiritual way. 

The Search for Motive: Crime and Punishment

Raskolnikov battles between his belief that murder is acceptable in certain situations versus Russian, and even international, societal beliefs. This puts him in a position where he himself questions whether or not his actions were indeed just. The thought of his actions makes him sick, as he experiences hallucinations and an overload of stress. When questioned by Porfiry Petrovich, Roskolnikov is asked about an essay that he had written about murder, in which he states that there are certain exceptions in some cases. The founding of this, along with the contrasting beliefs of Petrovich, insures Raskolnikov that he is indeed a suspect. The motive of the crime, Raskolnikov determines, for killing Alyona Ivanovna, is to establish his theorized superiority, which would then grant him the social allowance to commit murder. Yet, his search for motive is still undetermined to himself because of the environment around him.

Lazy or Busy?

This is sad. I'm going to be posting 3 blogs tomorrow, I have been sooooooo overloaded with school work and adjusting to this new house. I just got internet today so I will be trying to put it to good use. 

This week in AP-Lit has been pretty exciting, especially our discussion on Allen Ginsberg. I can't wait to publish a post tomorrow all about it. But it's 12:36 A.M. and I'm getting sleepy. 

Nightmares

Well, I was originally going to write my Crime and Punishment blog but I left my notebook at school the Thursday before vacation and have not been to school since, so I am unaware of the topics for the graded blog post!  However, I need to start writing every day again and so I will make it a top priority.

My vacation's been going pretty well, despite being sick. I have had the flu, bronchitis and the common cold that has been going around. 

I can't stop having nightmares about school. I've never had an argument with a teacher, nor do I ever intend to, but I keep having the strangest dreams where I end up swearing and using language that I would never use in harsh tones and being completely rebellious; throwing chairs, smashing lab equipment... 

All of this poetry has brought me back to thinking deeper about everything around me. Our Harry Potter discussion yesterday led into these different views of different novels and how they are differently interpreted in foreign places, as well as the criticism that they execute on one another. The other night I just happened to be thinking about what everyone's purpose is, what the government's purpose is, communities - small and large. Why do people mind each other's business? When we drive in cars we are separated from those around us, although they, too, are there. Yet, we have to put titles on ourselves and argue about whether or not abortion should be legal, whether or not gays should be allowed to marry, and whether or not certain drugs are should actually be banned, or if they should be accepted as harmless natural herbs. Why criticize all of these things if they are not specifically pertained to every human? Isn't life about living in the moment? When living in the moment, what is contained in the moment is the only thing that matters. If you cannot remain inside of this present notion, then what is the purpose of this world? 

Just a thought... 

Sonnet

Be honest, this might just be the worst sonnet ever written:

There's no such thing as total perfection,

We all strive to be as good as neighbors,

This whole thing is a pointless collection, 

All that is wanted from us are labors. 

Define what is right, what is accepted,

Corruption has lingered in this grey place

And the man may never be contested 

Because the things we the people embrace

Are only valuable to ourselves

And what is vital to him is central

For now I will dangle this from the shelves

Until the issue meets its funeral

And everyone must understand this

Because nothing even truly exists. 

King:Lear - A Madman?

A general theme in literature is the growth, or development, of a character. In Shakespeare's "King Lear," Lear proves himself to be very arrogant and self-centered. In the beginning of the play, he proves to be the superior character after firing Kent and manipulating his daughters into separated speeches of their extensive love for him as a father. After Cordelia's refusal, Lear instantaneously evolves into a character of great insecurity and insanity. The final blows to his demolishing self occur after his own daughters refuse to give assistance to their needy father. The storm then symbolizes both the defeat of himself and the beginning of his downward slope towards lunacy. That is not to say that he doesn't learn from his past mistakes, because he does. The fact that his faults could have been so easily avoided only drags him down further. The clever Fool only contradicts Lear's reputation, making Lear the actual "fool" until the end of the play. 

Sonnet:18

There is something I like about Sonnet 18:

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Instead of the cliché  lonely, disheveled depressed Shakespeare, this sonnet is an example of his irregular cheery pieces of writing. Ironically, the poem lists negative aspects of what summer can sometimes bring, however this contradicts the poem where Shakespeare describes a person who's beauty will last longer than the summer ("But thy eternal summer shall not fade"). In the last lines of the play, Shakespeare states that death will be conquered: "Nor shall death brag though wander'st in his shade." I think that is the most amazing line in all of Shakespeare. Just read that over to yourself. It's absolutely epic. Therefore Sonnet 18 deserves a thumb's-up. 

I am Laughing

Wow a lot of people took my last post way too seriously. Life is too short to actually get consumed with something that miniscule. My brother made a bet with me, and if I can go vegan for 2 more weeks I will get $20. That's it. But I do like soy milk and I don't drink regular cow's milk simply because I like the taste better. It comes with a lot of good benefits too. This page isn't supposed to cause controversy. I don't like too much controversy. That's lame. Controversy = drama = not cool. I posted the blog yesterday because a.) It gave me an excuse to procrastinate with some of my Latin homework, b.) I had nothing else to say that involved anything important and c.) I wanted to clear up the whole vegan thing. I don't plan on being vegan in my life time. At least not right now. But this is a bet that I can not lose. I appreciate people backing me up, but like I said, I wasn't actually being serious. I won't ever post anything too serious on here. Honestly, I can't think of one thing that I take 100% seriously in life. That's it. Thanks for reading.  

Revising

Yeah so today my teacher called me out on the fact that I drink soy-milk. The conversation started when a kid announced that Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream had once been asked to make a product with human breast milk. The statement suggested that cow's milk is not meant for human digestion (and it's not) and that human breast milk would be a natural replacement. I simply suggested "Why not just make it with soy-milk?" I was then mocked and criticized for even bringing that up, but the only reason I did so was to counter-argue a better way of replacing cow's milk with something other than human breast milk. So one thing led to another and then I opened up my mouth too soon and said that I was vegan. However, I've only been 100% for a little over a week now... but I've been drinking soy-milk instead of cow's milk since I became a vegetarian a year ago. I hate talking about this, but I wanted to clear some things up. I think it's a personal choice of how someone chooses to treat his or her own body, and I just prefer being this way. I feel good all the time. I have not caught a cold or been sick in over a year, and I'm never tired. Also there is the environmental approach, where the meat industry is the number one cause of green house gas emissions in the U.S. Then there is the world hunger approach which states that if  Americans limited their meat intake by 10%, 60,000,000 hungry people could be kept alive each year just from the over excessive energy put into fattening up livestock. Lastly, there is a buddhist side which is all about the overall kindness to everything and everyone on the planet. That's all I have to say. 

Sorry

Okay I've had some internet problems, sorry this took so long... So here's what I promised. 

King:Lear

Examples of "The Breaking of the Heart":

1.) The first signs of a breaking heart occurs in Act IV in the opening lines. Edgar talks about how he is better as a beggar than being his own self. He then states that any change is for the good and that he will accept as freely as it comes ("Welcome, then, thou unsubstantial air that I embrace!")-[6-7]. 

2.) In Act IV, scene iv when Cordelia sends her soldiers out to find Lear she fears for his life and takes the blame for his madness. "O dear father, It is thy business that I go about. Therefore great France My mourning and importuned tears hath pitied. No blown ambition doth our arms incite, But love - dear love!" - [23-29]. 

Examples of Human Decomposition:

1.) Act IV, scene vi, lines 30-43: Gloucester tries to commit suicide. He gives his son, Edgar, the last of his jewels and wishes that this may be the beginning of his prosperity (he thinks Edgar is a beggar). 

2.) Act IV, scene vi, lines 117-114: Lear trembles into the scene right after Gloucester and Edgar talk about Gloucester's "incredible fall." Lear tells Gloucester that he will not let him be sentenced to death for being an adulterer and goes on to say that the world needs more adulterers and lots of sex. Clearly, Lear has lost it and is beginning to go crazy. 

No Recovery From Grief:

1.) Act V, scene iii, lines 9-20: Lear tells Cordelia that together they will go to prison and sing like birds in a cage, discuss the mysteries of the universe and be happy. This is "No recovery from grief" because the King is so defeated that he is unable to recover and go back to living a normal life. Instead, his grief has got the best of him and he thinks that prison will be just fine and that it's not worth fighting any more. 

2.) Act V, scene iii, lines 75-81: Regan surrenders and tells Edmund to take her soldiers, prisoners and her inheritance and to do what he likes with them. 

Tonight

I will have one or two more blog posts by midnight tonight. One regarding some final thoughts and a project on "King Lear," the other one concerning the Presidential debates, so stay tuned.

Falling:Behind

Today was officially the most exciting day of class so far. We discussed Steven Mailloux's "Interpretation." After having discussed the essay, I wish that I had signed up for writing about it. No big deal. Mailloux discusses formalist, intentionalist and foundationalist theories and how they correspond to interpreting a piece of literature. I guess that I can say that when it comes to reading "King Lear," I tend to see things from an formalist's view. In other words, I read the words but don't dig in to anything more than their approximate meaning. No wonder I failed the last Lear quiz... It's too bad that I wasted my time reading the entire play but ended up missing most of the key components and aspects in doing so - but it's not the end of the world and I suppose that next time I read Shakespeare I will force myself to read "No Fear-Shakespeare" along with the text, just to make sure that I can pull out meanings from at least an intentionalist's point-of-view (in other words, finding the intentions hidden behind the words themselves). So I guess I've learned that reading isn't really valuable unless there is some digging. AP literature is a college level class, and I need to start acknowledging it as one because it is not nearly as easy as anything that I have taken prior. So from here on, I will leave my failed Shakespeare days behind me and move on without reflecting on my negative start to the first quarter. Lastly, I would like to say, Rachel: you're response paper to "Interpretations" was phenomenal. You've inspired me. 

The:Widow

Dead man, were you ever alive?
Or was I just a seed you buried deep inside
Some woman you wed
Right before you crawled out of her bed and crept down the hall?
Did you think of me?
Did you even for a second hesitate in the doorway?
It's just something that I'd like to know
Though I'd still love you if told me
You just walked away


My God, what a world you love
Where men bury their sons
And without thought just walk away

And my mother's heart breaks
Like the water inside of her


Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89
As the track marks inched their way up your arm
My mother taught my brothers and I not to call you daddy
But to call you father

But I believe there is something here to be learnt of grace
'Cause I can't help but love you
Even with a heart that breaks
Like the promises that you made
Like the promises that you made
The promises that you made

My God, what a world you love

Catching:Up

Too much homework tonight, no major posts. Tomorrow night I am going to see Brighten in Portland, Maine. Everyone is sick except me. School is lame, they think that they're preparing us for college but we don't get any responsibilities. Eff the administration. 

Losing:Track

It's been a few days since I've posted a blog. I've been consumed with so much college material that I've left all of my homework in my backpack since the beginning of the weekend and right now it's 9:23 on Sunday night and I have yet to touch it. On Friday at 3 o'clock after school I left with my dad for UVM. We arrived in Burlington at approximately 7 o'clock that night and went out for dinner at some Italian restaurant about a mile from the hotel. I got eggplant parmesan and it was alright. After that we went back to the hotel and I watched Discovery Project Earth for a full hour and fell asleep shortly after. As always, we ended up oversleeping through the next morning and still managed to make it to the college tour 25 minutes before it was scheduled to begin. It was pretty neat, they showed us a nice little DVD and Powerpoint presentation and it made UVM seem amazing. Well, it is. It is the greenest school I have visited so far and it has everything I'm looking for. The Environmental Science program is amazing and there are so many cool clubs such as their Outing Club. The tour of the campus itself was also good. It's scenic and very well kept and in a really outstanding location; only about a mile from downtown Burlington and about a mile from Lake Champlain as well. The community is very environmentally conscious; the buses are fueled by biodiesel and everyone recycles. 

We drove for about 5 hours after through the White Mountains in New Hampshire and back to my dad's house in Cumberland. When we got home my dad went to bed but I decided to go for a 6 mile run. After that, we went out for sushi and called it a day. 

Today we went to the College Fair at USM and I went around looking for schools with strong Environmental Science/Studies programs. Here's my list: 

-Lewis and Clark College (Portland, Oregon)

-Alaska Pacific University (Anchorage, Alaska)

-St. Lawrence University

-Union College

-Montana State University

-Rochester Institute of Technology (Rochester, NY)

-University of Notre Dame

-Lehigh University

-Dickinson College

-Lyndon State College

-Providence College

-Wheaton College

In October I will also be visiting Wake Forest, Elon and Virginia Tech. In a couple weeks I'll try to have a list of the schools that I will be applying to (6 or 7 schools). I'll be looking for schools that are environmentally friendly, have solid Environmental Science programs well located with good study abroad programs. Now I have to go do my homework and read "The Sonnet" and "The Essay" and finish King Lear... 

Something:Real

I'm done bashing things I read. It's getting old. No one has said a good thing about "King Lear" so far, so I'll be the first to say it. It's not a bad play. It's actually the best play I've read so far. I just finished it today, and although I needed to rely partially on Spark Notes to help me bear with it, the concept of the play was inspiring. I am impressed so far with this class, it has very good potential to be the best course I'll ever have in high school. 

I have to admit, the discussion we had today was pretty intense at times. A girl in my class was almost entirely convinced that Shakespeare used drug-related innuendos in Act IV, scene vi where Lear comes across a man covered in flowers after smoking a special "herb" to help with his headaches. A little off topic? Sure. But I think it was worth discussing. Another thing that I like about "King Lear" is the fact that it is not cliché  at all. Maybe I just haven't read enough literature yet to know that for a fact, but it's different, which is good. I will finish up King Lear more thoroughly tomorrow. 

Mr:Essentially:And:So:On

Mr. "R" asked us to use a different name, such as a nickname, when referring to him in our blogs. Of course, I have chosen a nickname which is relevant to him and is neither rude nor offensive. After sitting in class today and talking about "King Lear" and his journey through a disastrous storm (after being kicked out of his daughters' castles), I noticed that Mr. "R" says 'essentially' in almost every other sentence. Of course, that is not to say that I am making fun of him. Everyone has personal habits, and I know that for a fact. Many of my personal habits revolve around music. I have had a lot of bad drumming habits, and often found myself writing parts that were very repetitive and similar fills that lacked originality. It's hard to dig out one's way out of a situation like that, therefore the terminology "writer's block." 

So back to today's story... I'll admit that I was not very focused... At all. I ended up counting the number of times Mr. "R" said the word 'essentially'... 14 times. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. Mr. "R" is the man and everyone knows it. But, from this moment on I will refer to him as 'Mr. Essentially' in my blogs. I guess if you look at it from an enlightened perspective, it could resemble a scholarly-like individual, so there you go. 

Seinfeld.

Today every single one of my teachers made a reference to a Seinfeld episode. "King Lear" isn't getting any better. 

Top:10:Bands

Alright I don't have much to say today so I will list my current favorite bands. 

10). The Fall of Troy

09). As Cities Burn

08). The Early November

07). The White Stripes

06). As Tall As Lions

05). Kevin Devine

04). Ben Kweller

03). Our Last Night

02). The Receiving End of Sirens

01). Brighten 

King:Lear

I do not like reading plays. I can't do it. I had to read Acts I and II of Shakespeare's King Lear three times today to get the general gist of what exactly is going on. Apparently I have a quiz tomorrow, and I'm not sure whether or not it's going to be too pretty. I could read books that follow a similar formatting to Joshua Ferris's Then We Came to the End non-stop... But Shakespeare... No. I hope we get this play out of the way with before the weekend. I'd read the rest of it tonight if I had to. I guess I'm just getting too far ahead of myself. 

Interpreting:Poets

When Mr. Rosinski asked us to construct a thematic statement revolving around Shelly's "Ozymandias," I knew that I would not be able to come up with something relatively accurate without referring to the internet or some other reliable source. It's not that I don't understand poetry, but I tend to overanalyze it. Before I had Josh Livingston my junior year, I seemed to be on the right track as my peers, maybe even a step or two ahead, but something was driven into my mind that makes me see poetry in a completely different way, and I'm not so sure I like it. 

My thematic statement went something like... "In 'Ozymandias,' the power of time drives society's intellect universally," or something in that ball park which made absolutely no sense. What I mainly got from the poem itself was that the "Power of Time" was indeed a relevant theme and then I used it to try to explain that it controls society as one body and that few are able to actually think for themselves.